Bishop’s Stumblers Vs Lovehaven Dancers

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There have been some improvements in my tactical playing since my last game! YAY! The learning curve for competitive Blood Bowl may be erratically steep but it feels like I’m getting somewhere despite losing another match. I managed to control the board more than usual, caused a lot of casualties (it is the Dwarven way after all!) and even managed to make two breaks for the end zone with both being stopped at the last moment.

Playing against an Elven Union team made for a surprisingly balanced match against my Dwarves. While the Lovehaven Dancers could move a lot and easily get the ball into position, they are very….squishy. Five casualties inflicted in a game squishy. My opposing coach, Colin kept me on my toes with some spectacular moves, especially when he quickly turned my failed attempt to score a touchdown into one of his own. Something I will be looking out for in future games against pesky elf teams! The second touchdown came from some Nuffle induced chaos in the form of a Pitch Invasion which took out my rearward ball handling (heh) players. The Dancers quickly sprinted down the board and after a messy skirmish got the ball and scored.

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It was a defeat but not as crushing as the one I had at the mummified hands of the Deadicated Few. Overall I feel like I’m improving with each game. I even managed to pull off some nice formations and cages when I had possession of the ball. My second break for the end zone showed that dwarves can cover a surprising amount of ground with the ball if you position them right. The Mangler did his Deathrolling duties and kept a cluster of Colin’s players under relative lockdown with that pesky elven dodging being the only thing keeping them safe. The Mangler was rewarded for his efforts with MVP for the match which pushed him over the edge into the next rank. A lucky double fives dice roll later and now the Deathroller has Block. So he will be a force to be reckoned with in future games.

Local Dwarven Newspaper The Daily Grudge – Match Report

Written by Blood Bowl Editor, Dronrir Cooltale

“Adequate” is the word that keeps coming to Bishop’s Stumblers fans minds when talking about their latest defeat at home at the hands of the Lovehaven Dancers. This match was not as crushing a defeat as their last and the Stumblers are even starting to work together as a team! A shocking turn of events for a Dwarf team but one that may prove useful in the melting pot that is the Dragon Bowl League.

The Stumblers started well and got in a few early hits as they made their way up the pitch in a tight formation around team captain, Grom Commonforged.

Things quickly turned however once the Lovehaven Dancer’s got possession of the ball. They forced their way along the length of the pitch slipping, sliding and indeed shimmying between the Stumbler’s defensive line to score their first touchdown.

Still the excitement was palpable. So much so that emotion got the better of the Stumblers fans resulting in a pitch invasion in the latter half of the match. A sea of cheering Bishop’s Stumblers fans swept across the pitch knocking several players to the floor, sadly most of them on the Stumblers’ side of the centre line. Thoughts of the Stumblers scoring a touchdown of their own were put to a stop when the Dancer’s seized the opportunity to grab the ball and edge into the Stumbler’s endzone for a second touchdown.

It was not all doom and gloom however because in the dying moments of the match fans were treated to one last glimmer hope. Team Captain, Grom Commonforged got possession of the ball and passed it to Journeyman Blocker, Sargon Blackgrog who sprinted, well moved as fast a dwarf possibly can, towards the Dancer’s end zone. As he neared his target, as if from nowhere, a gaggle of the Lovehaven Dancer’s sleekest players pranced towards Blakgrog and surrounded him with their gyrating hips. Their display of Elven charm unnerved poor Blackgrog so much that he crashed to the floor a bit too early, coming to a stop less than a metre from the scoring line. Ending the match 0-2 in the Dancer’s favour. When pressed for a comment after the game Blakgrog had a blank, emotionless expression on his face and could only muster the words, “The horror…..the…..horror…..”

Post match many fans thought that Blakgrog was a shoe-in to join the Stumbler’s roster full time but Head Coach, Crukal Milltall of Many Spells* issued a statement saying that while Sargroan Blackgrog had shown some aptitude for the game he had yet to prove himself Stumblers material. Thankfully Blackgrog is being given another chance to prove his worth in the Stumbler’s next game as he will be replacing Zutren Brownsworn who will be missing the next match thanks to the twisted machinations of the Dancers.

The Stumbler’s also continued to add to their violent reputation by dealing some well deserved punishment to the Lovehaven Dancer’s roster. Inflicting one death and multiple injuries. So much damage was done that one poor elf has been forced into early retirement. The apothecaries say that they are suffering from something called Post Agony Nightmare SYndrome (or PANSY for short) which requires a new fangled treatment called therapy to cure.

The Stumblers may not by charging up the league tables they always to put on an entertaining show!

*I have still to find proof that Crukal Milltall knows any spells let alone many. Many fans thought they saw him waving around some sort of magical energy during the match as he shouted orders from the Stumbler’s dugout. But as this photographic evidence shows it is clearly a blue towel tied to the end of a stick and coated in some sort of luminous blue yellow substance:

Whenever I’ve pressed Milltall for answers about his magical aptitude he has quickly ended our interviews and has disappeared into the shadows.

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